|
Free Funny Pixs.com
|
free funny pictures | |
|
If you like FFpixs.com try babyanimalz.com! |
|
|
|
|
|
| Humor Information |Home | Funny Animals | Funny Art | Funny Cartoons | Crashes | Funny People | Political Humor | Funny Signs | Pass Out | |
|
|
Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant
Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan winter months. Alaska Zoo officials debated this past year about whether to keep Maggie. She has been the only elephant in the zoo since 1997 when her companion of 14 years, Annabelle, died. Some experts believe that in order to be healthy and happy a zoo elephant should be part of a small herd of 3 or more. The Zoo's elephant committee decided that the risks of moving Maggie out of state and of totally changing her life were too great. Besides, she seems happy here and she has a familiar "herd" in Alaska already. Numerous Zoo officials, animal handlers and exercisers, and familiar frequent visitors spend many hours a day with her. In order to increase Maggie's comfort and health, zoo officials decided to give Maggie's living quarters softer flooring and better ventilation. Zoo staff will also increase the number of hours that they spend with Maggie from 8 hours daily to 12 to 16 hours daily. Finally, the Zoo will help Maggie get more year-round exercise and lose weight. They will purchase an elephant-sized treadmill. However, nobody has ever designed or built an elephant treadmill. Designs are being developed now, but if you have any good ideas bring them forward. Then stand in line behind me to watch Maggie work out on her new treadmill. Can you imagine the elephant-sized headphones and iPod that she'll need? ***************************** Garry Gamber is a public school teacher and entrepreneur. He writes articles about real estate, health and nutrition, and internet dating services. He is the owner of http://www.Anchorage-Homes.com and http://www.TheDatingAdvisor.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
RELATED ARTICLES
Humor Under The Keyboards For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying That Movie moments are nice things to share with the people you care about. Most of those shared moments consist of "Remember that one part when the guy with the thing?" and before they can finish you're interjecting with your own vague, "Oh totally, I love that part!" But occasionally this process extends beyond an inner circle and goes global in its reach. Playing Go-Between in the Digital Age NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when my grandmother was alive. Cloning Advantage Super Families As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. We see the need of self to extend past one's own lifetime as an innate characteristic; self-preservation has always been one of mankind's greatest drivers of motivation. 3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices I have heard the rumblings of many of you inReaderland about the recent spike ingasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling. A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools, and my requests, I had been appointed to teach to a sixth-grade class. At least, I almost worked in my backyard. When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked forward to the spiritual journey that would define who I was as a person. Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week. Very Precise Fortune Cookies I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather forecaster. The Zapp Principle My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was always a mess. This time it was a lightly charred mess, covered with extinguisher gloop. If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart) Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank.. Slip-sliding On A Peel Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. Finding Lost Children A couple of days ago I had to go to a dealership to get my car fixed. I am not implying that I don't want my car to have children, because who am I to make that choice? More so, I was sent a letter about a recall on one of the parts (the hazards, actually), meaning that the dealership was obligated to fix my car while I watched television and drank free coffee from a vending machine?"This is quite a deal," you may be thinking. Eye Spy Potatoes Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my contact lenses still in my eyes. And by "lately," I mean for the past seven years. Pee Here Now Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history. Sweet Vengeance Purrfected I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily. Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one. Cant Get There From Here Can't Get There From HereJuneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywhere?You can fly into Juneau or you can take a ferry to Juneau, but you can't actually drive there. There are no roads into Juneau. |
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |