|
Free Funny Pixs.com
|
free funny pictures | |
|
If you like FFpixs.com try babyanimalz.com! |
|
|
|
|
|
| |
| Humor Information |Home | Funny Animals | Funny Art | Funny Cartoons | Crashes | Funny People | Political Humor | Funny Signs | Pass Out | |
|
|
|
Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05
Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. Can you explain it? -- Sport Watcher This game begins with the entrance of referees, people with striped shirts who enforce the rules. Occasionally, someone with striped shirt and long stick may appear, and wander aimlessly. He is a "lost golfer," and must be removed. Next come the cheerleaders, who bounce onto the field, often displaying skimpy uniforms and bare midriffs. And those are just the guys. The girls look even better, and may wave their massive pom-poms to excite the crowd. (We'll discuss pom-poms another time.) Then comes the team "mascot," often a farm animal, or a human dressed like one. Mascot uniforms are sometimes very silly, and not appropriate wearing apparel for, say, a wedding. Next come two teams that wear different colors, plus a helmet to hide their identities from the opponents they'll tackle later. For the next three hours each squad tries to go from one end of the field to the other. Pay attention to the quarterback, who controls the football. Sometimes he throws it to a teammate (a "pass"). Sometimes he hands it to somebody (a "handoff"). And occasionally he may tiptoe to the sidelines, and give some cheerleader a big, wet kiss. This is called the "quarterback sneak." There's more to tell, Sport Watcher, but I gotta go. On TV, they're about to show a "quarterback sneak" instant replay. Poor Rix offers bad answers to good questions. Contact him at rixquinn@charter.net. Rix authored the recent writing book "Words That Stick." It's available from http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1580085768/qid/ For details on his weekly column, call him directly at 817-920-7999.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Sell [Your] Phones Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years old, on a cell phone. She was walking along the side of the street talking to someone, and I couldn't help but think that maybe she was talking to someone across the street because she wasn't allowed to cross it. When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. Bad Days and Bad Timing Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most inappropriate moments? Well, let me tell you, it's not just the little ones that spout off with remarks that make you want to don a cloak of invisibility.My son was just having one of those days. Setting History Straight Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the name Artie Seymour? Probably not. But you will, you will, when the word gets around about how these two inglorious talents were by-passed, how they missed being touched by the magic wand of Fate. Humor Under The Keyboards For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Essential Laughter Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in life. It is so refreshing to just laugh at your slips, peculiarities, forgetfulness, and fumbles. How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading! We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Slip-sliding On A Peel Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. Sweet Vengeance Purrfected I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily. Funny Things We Dream I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. They have tried to use giant sand bags to drop into the hole. Playing Go-Between in the Digital Age NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at *spark-online.com when my grandmother was alive. Lactose Intolerant? It could be a good thing Lactose Intolerant Individuals may prove a bonus in Space Missions. Lactose intolerant individuals have huge problems with gas from the inability to process certain dairy products and foods. How to Build a Cobblestone House He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down - certainly not if the house was built with cobblestones. Building cobblestone houses was a folk art that flourished in upstate New York from 1825 until the Civil War in 1860. To See Or Not To See I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. 3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices I have heard the rumblings of many of you inReaderland about the recent spike ingasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. Pee Here Now Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history. Do Americans Really Understand Irony? Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there I have admitted it. But let me go on to make myself slightly more unpopular by suggesting that our American society does present us with a range of valuable and positive aspects. If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart) Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank.. He Had It Coming, Your Honor This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around our sprawling estate, I realized that my life is just way too laid back.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
